I found a PINK PEN!

Hello again everyone! As always, I am very pleased to see you reading this blog. Yes, that's right, I can see you reading it where you sit, because I am a ninja like that.

No I'm not, I'm just kidding. You can stop looking over your shoulder now.

So today, I decided to sit in a booth in the dining area of Naz (which is a building at the college I go to, for all you non-NWC students). Basically, I was doing homework, while simultaneously not doing homework. I know, I'm just that skilled!

Anyway, I decided before supper started to take a walk, and that walk led me to the campus bookstore, where I just decided to walk in and look at stuff. I mean, you might as well look at things while randomly walking around and not doing homework, right? I went to the supplies, and I found a PINK PEN! And I was like "Oh my goodness! This is just what I have always wanted for like, the past three seconds that I've seen it was here!" And so I bought it, along with an orange sharpie highlighter and another ink pen, since I seem to bleed those things dry.

I am looking forward to writing so many things with this pink pen! I'm gonna write letters, and thank you notes, and all sorts of things! Okay, not really to the thank you notes. Unless you happen to get me something for my birthday, which is actually coming up because it's February 19. So, if you do get me something for my birthday, I will write you a thank you note, and sign it, and then one day when this blog is famous and all sorts of other writing of mine is famous you can totally sell it on ebay, or craig's list? and be all like "I knew that guy! I bought him a birthday present and now I have this thank you note worth millions of dollars!" Or something like that. I'll even write it with the PINK PEN!

Anyway, that's all I got for tonight. As always, if you have any questions, suggestions, or anything else you'd like to say to me, leave a comment! So far, I have like, zero comments for most of my stuff, and that's just not fun. Mostly because it probably means no one is reading this. But if you are, comment! I may write you a thank you note for that even with the pink pen if you do. Shalom!

Post Blog Notes

I suggested last night that I would maybe not be finishing that "What are you chasing?" series, and it is a definitive not-gonna-happen now. Looking back at my notes, which are pretty much single sentences for each idea, I don't have the slightest clue what I wanted to say. Well, rather than the basic premise, and I just don't feel like rethinking all that stuff. I much prefer new ideas, so out with the old!

Also, I will add a picture of the pink pen either to this blog later, or to my next blog so all of you can see its amazing pink-ness.

Dirt-sugar drink.

Hey guys, it's me again! So, with this blog I'm gonna do something new (hey that rhymed!) and give a professional review for something. Minus the professional part. And the review part is also still in question. . .Anywho!

So today I went to Target to actually buy food, as opposed to mooching off of Than (and Than, if you are reading this, thank you for being a wonderful friend). I was browsing through the soda and saw this new stuff called "Tab." First I checked out who it was made by, ya know, make sure I wasn't going to be drinking any drug-soda or anything, and saw that it was a Coca-Cola product so I knew I was safe. Since, you know, they haven't put drugs in their products since, well, I don't really know when.

I got back to my dorm and proceeded to put all of my food away. Then, right as I was sitting down to write something, our fire alarm went off--like that hasn't happened either other times this year. I decided to grab a "Tab" and try it out while freezing out in the Minnesota winter weather waiting for the Firemen to come. May I say, they are getting quite efficient at checking Arden!

Long story short, it tasted like dirt. With sugar. Actually, what I later realized is that it tasted like Diet Coke, except for the fact that it has all the regular unhealthiness of a real coke. So, for those of you who like dirt-sugar drinks minus all the benefits of not killing you, this one's for you.

Post Blog Notes

Okay, so I looked up Tab on wiki. Apparently it is slightly healthier, maybe, than regular soda (it's name comes from its marketing audience of people who want to keep "tabs" on their weight). And, it's not new, so I guess I've just never noticed it before, because it's been around since 1963.

Also, I'm now considering forgetting about finishing that "What are You Chasing" series, since I've apparently not found the time or desire to do it up to this point, but we'll see. The main problem is I get so distracted by new ideas that I want to write about! Thus, why I have yet to finish any of the fantasy books I've been trying to write. . .or even get past the seventh chapter. Anyway, shalom!

My life is. . .boring?

Hey everyone, it's been a little while since I've last posted on my blog, but I'm back! An update on life: the reason I haven't blogged for a while is settling back in to college and whatnot. Today I'm going to finish organizing my room (maybe), and as of right now for school I'm taking seventeen credits, participating in intramural broomball, and will be doing track as well later in the spring. I'm no longer going to do indoor track, which many of you may not have even known that I did but now do know now that I have done it, because I want to do broomball, and I simply dislike it.

Anyway, for those interested the classes I am taking are Writer's Style on MWF (Monday-Wednesday-Friday) from 11:20-12:25. Oh, and right before that is chapel, which is not a class but something I go to because I go to a Christian college, from 10:30-11. But right after Writer's Style I have Writing of Fiction, which is from 12:40-1:45. Finishing up my MWF's is Men's Chorus from 2-3:05. Not gonna lie, at first I was freaking out a little bit about two writing classes back to back, but it's turning out to be not so bad, and hopefully I will find that just right amount of pressure during school that isn't too much or too little.

On TR (Tuesday-Thursday) I have Lifespan Psych from 8:35-10:15, then chapel, and that's it. Until February, because then I'll pick up my Math for the Liberal Arts. I don't remember the time for that at the moment, so I'll inform you guys in another update when it arrives.

And, for those of you who did the math and realize that's not seventeen credits right there, next quad I will have Advanced Writing of Fiction and some Bible class that I've already forgotten the name of. Oops, lol.

Ummm, what else to talk about here. . .(see, this is why I do more "serious" posts; my life is quite uninteresting, lol). Well, before college I went ice skating for the first time, which was a blast. And then I went and had coffee with a friend a couple of days after that, which was also a blast! Aaand, uhhh, urrm, yeah, that's all I got for now. So, as always, if any of you have questions be sure to just ask them! Seriously, help me out with what I should put in these "update on my life" posts, I have no clue what anyone wants to know about me. Maybe nothing I suppose, but I'm too vain to believe that. Shalom!

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Everyone, I just started checking my Formspring account as well! My name on there is C_Anselm, I believe, so if anyone wants to ask me more questions that is the place to do it. Maybe I'll also start ripping questions from there to post on here for a little more interest.

And, that also reminds me, my gamertag on Xbox Live is Caleb Anselm (seriously, that's a space and not an underscore too), so add me on there as well. I won't be able to add you back right away, however, as my college blocks systems from getting on the interwebz. However, we can get around that with a little bit of PC and ethernet cable help. Shhhh. . .

I am on facebook, am not on Myspace, and dislike Twitter very much. However, I've been thinking about getting back on Twitter just because I hear about how useful it is all the time. If anyone has some pointers for me to not hate it, let me know. My account on there is again, C_Anselm. But, before people go thinking my real name is Caleb Anselm and go searching for that on facebook, it is not. It is actually Kaleb Hammes (can you find that sort of information somewhere else on here anyway? I don't know). I'm actually rather open to random people adding me and contacting me and whatnot; it makes life a bit more interesting ;).

And, again, haven't forgotten about the "What are you chasing?" series. But keep me accountable for putting it up, cause I might get into the habit of "remembering" it and not doing anything.

Understanding, Pt. 2: Pain.

Obviously, I didn't get this published last night, and I apologize for that. But, without further adieu, I will jump right into part 2 of these posts.

Society's views on understanding says that when someone is having a bad day, you should try to cheer them up. And apparently, the best way of cheering someone up is to tell them that you know how they feel! That you can understand how they feel, but look at you, you got through it. I'm thinking that many of you will catch on to this at least sounding ineffective. But the truth is, many of us do just this when someone is hurting. But what about the cheering up part? That's still good? I mean, we just need to find another way that's more effective.

Maybe. This is where discernment plays in, because I will admit that if a friend is moping around all the time, then sometimes getting them on their feet for a good day "with the guys" or "with the gals" is just what they need. However, sometimes you should also simply allow them to feel their pain. Sometimes, you should allow yourself to feel their pain with them, rather than say that "you know what they're going through." Go through it with them, and hurt with them. Paul says in Romans 12:15, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep" (ESV). Notice that it doesn't say cheer them up. It doesn't say to tell them that we know how they feel. It commands that that we feel it with them, whatever it is that they are feeling. (And while I'm not going to focus on the rejoicing aspect in this post, it is equally important to also rejoice with your happy friends; it is, after all, the other half of that verse).

Remember that their pain is legitimate, and in fact, they deserve to feel it before you try to cheer them up. Trying to cheer someone up prematurely says that whatever is causing them pain "wasn't that big of a deal." Maybe you really believe that, depending on the situation but allow them to decide that for themselves before belittling what they had deemed important enough to hurt over in their life. As for telling them you know how they feel, aside from being another simple effort to simply cheer them up and thus saying the same thing, it doesn't really work to cheer anyone up. Just because you know that they are hurting isn't going to make them hurt less, and that's likely what they are thinking, even if they won't say it.

But to "weep with those who weep" can do a lot for another person. It reassures them that they are right to feel what they feel, and that their pain is valid, because in today's culture it can seem like what is expected of us is to simply shrug of any wound. It also eases the stress of thinking that they are simply a burden to everyone around them by showing them that you are okay with the fact that they are hurting, and in fact, you want to hurt with them because whatever it was, it was worth it.

That statement is actually the most valuable thing that they will be able to face with another person hurting with them. Again, society today seems to tell everyone that if you're hurting from something, then it wasn't worth it anyway, and I have such a vehement distaste for this statement that I won't even try wording it. But many of us will try to believe it, and fail, and hurt even more because of it. Obviously, we can't properly grieve if we don't allow ourselves to, but that's another thing we forget in our pain. What is good for us at that moment is the pain. It's allowing ourselves to face that we lost something important in our life, something that meant something to us. It frees us to be ourselves and to care, because lets face it, the only way we will avoid all pain is to avoid caring about anything. Bringing us back on topic, weeping with those who weep helps them to realize this and to sort through all of it with a shoulder to lean on. Facing down the throat of the monster called "pain" can sometimes seem very daunting alone, depending on what the pain is.

Now, in near contradiction to everything I just said, there will be those few rare times where we should allow the person hurting to lie to themselves. Popular belief today follows that we should face the pain head-on, when it's not telling us that we shouldn't be feeling it, and as everything I said before this paragraph indicates, for the most part I agree with that. But there will be times when someone is going through pain that is so tremendous that they simply aren't ready to face it, even with someone else, and we should be patient with them. Go ahead and allow themselves to lie to themselves that whatever it was wasn't worth it, because whatever it was was so much worth it that they really can't bear to look at what they lost yet. But still hurt with them. Give them plenty of hugs, when and where appropriate.

Wrapping all of this up in a nice, neat little package is quite simple this time. "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." Allow someone to hurt, and encourage them to by hurting with them.

Post blog notes

Again, dealing with a subject of this proportion, whatever questions you all may have or whatever you may desire to point it, go ahead and do so in a comment. I very much dislike sounding stupid and not knowing it, lol. As opposed to sounding stupid and being very aware of, which I'm quite fine with ;). Hope you all enjoy reading these and that they bless some lives! Shalom.

Understanding, Pt. 1: Flaws and faults.

I decided about ten seconds ago that the topic for my blog tonight will be understanding other people. It seems that society values this a lot, and to be honest, I was a little bit skeptical a little while back. I saw so many "understanding" people get upset at each other and end things, or nearly end things, that I began to think that understanding really wasn't what it's all cracked up to be. Another thing that got me thinking like this was the fact that I never really felt better when someone "understood" me. It didn't ever fix anything if I was having a crappy day and was "understood"; it was still a crappy day.

It was a little while back also, however, when I learned that what much of society does is not true understanding. Like with many things, society corrupts a good concept through misunderstanding what it really is or looks like. It has corrupted our view of understanding others' faults and flaws, which will be looked at in part 1 (this part), and it has corrupted our view of understanding others' pain, looked at in part 2 (the next part). (I will be writing both of these blogs tonight, simply so I do not forget [and I have not forgotten the other three part blog I spoke about!]. I am dividing them into parts, however, due to length. No one likes to sit through long readings without at least some break.)

Society's views on understanding flaws seems to mean that one has to make an excuse for them. If your girlfriend, boyfriend, or just plain friend has done something hurtful (to you, someone else, anyone), society thinks that you have to look at their reasoning. And then, since you know why they did whatever they did, you need to just let it go and not let it bother you. Or, even if you don't follow their reasoning, just let it go anyway. Sounds good, right? I mean, that sounds like forgiveness.

Wrong. Understanding does not mean that you just make excuses for someone else's behavior, towards you or someone else, and that's not what forgiveness is either. We get so tripped up into thinking that we have to believe ourselves and everyone else good people that when someone does anything wrong, it feels like to be a good person ourselves and to maintain them as a good person in our mind we must find some way to make what they did less offensive. Less sinful. But this is not truly understanding someone, then, is it? If we must believe that someone is good to be their friend and accepting of them, what happens when they do something that really, really hurts us? That we can't seem to find any justification for anymore?

If you're like a normal person, you will strive and struggle to keep the relationship going, but in the end bitterness will have its way with you. Wrongdoings demand justification, and this knowledge is burned into our minds just as much as walking is. It's natural. So when you believe that to be understanding of someone who has done something wrong means to discount that they did something wrong, or belittle it, you're setting true forgiveness up for failure right then and there.

What is understanding in this situation then? Let's look at a few verses from the Bible to see if we can figure it out. The first one is one many of us have heard, and it's actually referencing love, but I believe many of you will understand where I'm coming from in saying that understanding is an act of love (punny, aren't I?).

1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love is patient. . ." Let's stop right here. Patient for what? The right person to come along? Let's not forget that, in context, this verse isn't just speaking about marriage. And while I would say this patience is meant to say for a lot of things, one of them is other peoples' mistakes. We aren't meant not to notice them, but we can be patient with them. We can choose to acknowledge that they hurt us, but then let it go. Trust that they do still care about us, even if they do it imperfectly and have done an uncaring thing toward us. Which, what I've just said in the past two sentences demonstrates loves qualities of keeping no record of wrongs (verse 5) and the fact that it "always trusts" (verse 7). Sometimes, when someone does something uncaring toward us, we are tempted to think that they themselves do not care about us, but we need to remember that they are also flawed human beings. In remembering that they are flawed, we can remember that they do still care about us, even if they've messed up, and relax with that knowledge firmly in place. If you have trouble believing that they still care about you when someone does something hurtful, stop right there and consider what you are thinking about doing to them to get back at them, or to try to get them to notice that you've been hurt. Likely, it's something you hope will hurt them back. An imperfect and uncaring thing to do. Now ask yourself, do you still care about them? I hope the answer is still "yes," and that this helps you to see in the moment that they too still care.

The next verse, parable actually, deals with forgiveness, and it's another one that many of you are likely to recognize. Since it's so long, I won't write out the whole thing, but take this time to look at the parable of the unmerciful servant at Matthew 18:21-35.

Remember when I said that wrongdoings require justification? Or, justice, rather. That didn't change in 1 Corinthians 13 when it said "love keeps no record of wrongs." Justice happens before the record book is brought out, and it's what allows us to keep from writing their name down and exactly what they owe us every time we get hurt by something that they do.

Looking at this parable doesn't feel like it's looking at a demonstration of justice, though, does it? Not the way we've been brought up to view it, no, but it is justice. Justice is the payment of an act. Any act, really, though it's commonly looked at through situations of court and crime. It is what brings the world into equilibrium; an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Capital punishment. All that controversial stuff that I won't debate here.

But here we have a king who has forgiven his servant. At first the master demands payment, saying that the servant must sell all that he has to pay what he owes, but the servant begs for forgiveness. The master then cancels the debt and lets him go.

This is justice. There was a payment made. But, as you all are noticing and maybe questioning, it wasn't by the servant, so who?

The king. The master paid for what his servant owed him by freely giving it to him. Forgiving it to him, if you will. The master swallowed the debt, paying out of his own pocket to take the consequence of this servant. Unfortunately, as we see, the servant does not do the same for another and is punished by the king for this.

Let this remind us who our master is. Jesus. And may it also remind us of two things. First, he has already paid for the sins of our brothers and sisters. Second, and more importantly to remember for the practical application of forgiveness, that means he has paid for you're wrongdoings, and according to this parable he wants you to "pay it forward." This parable demonstrates that no matter what anyone else may do to us, and thus what they may owe us, it pales FAR in comparison to what we owe to God through our disobedience. So when someone else hurts you, remember this. Justice does demands a payment, but forgiveness means that it can come from the debtor.

Wrapping all of this up into a nice, neat little package, being understanding of another's faults and flaws first means recognizing that they are indeed faults flaws. Second, we can let them bother us, at least for a little while, but we should forgive by not keeping a record of wrongs and not reacting harshly towards them as payment for what they have done to hurt us, or even irritate us. Third, it means recognizing that when a loved one does hurt us, and even though it was an uncaring thing that they did, it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't care. It means that their love and care for you is imperfect, but still there.

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I was dealing with a pretty big concept, and as such I realize that as a fallible person, I may have written in some contradictions unintentionally. Go ahead and point them out, and I will do my best to address them. If I cannot address them, I will do my best to humbly admit that I am wrong, unless after careful consideration I still think I'm not, even in the face of the contradiction. There are a few things in life that seem to contradict that are sometimes simply like two gears that just haven't meshed right yet and are grinding against each other until they can be reworked and greased with new knowledge and (laughs) understanding. However, I will still give you credit where credit is due for seeing the contradiction, and graciously accept that you disagree with me. I still haven't ruled out the possibility that I am wrong.

Also, I promised I would write the other part tonight, and I still intend to, but I may not. I'm sorry, but I am tired. This took longer writing than I thought it would (and I thought it would be long), and it took a lot of thinking and researching, and I'm still not satisfied with how everything is presented and that I haven't missed some error in my logic. I will make my best effort to write the next part tonight though.

Lastly, ignore the bit down below, unless you simply want a preview of the next part. I wrote it while writing this one, intending to cover both topics in one blog, and then removed it by cutting and pasting when I realized that I wouldn't cover it all in one post. It's there so that I don't have to rewrite it, and that is all.

Thank you to everyone who is and has been reading my blogs! Shalom.

"But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair."

This quote by Relient K in their song "Be My Escape" is one that means a lot to me. It's one that I always try to remember as I live day to day, because it reminds me of every blessing that I have, have ever been given, and have yet to receive. It reminds me that no matter what I'm going through, I can still count myself truly blessed.

If you were anything like me, you will remember as a child always complaining to your parents that something "just wasn't fair." Little did we know all the sacrifices that they were making for us: all of the things they were providing us with, not the least of which being the love that we needed to survive even when we were babies.

And it's the same thing with God. Sometimes I'm tempted in life to complain about something, and it's like I'm telling God that what he has given me is not enough. I'm not satisfied with the day or week or month that he's given me, and it's "just not fair." But then I remember what I deserve. I remember who I've been, and I have to say, I've been truly blessed to have had a point in my life where I truly hated myself because I had faced down the monster that I really was and could be.

We all like to believe we're good, and on a normal day maybe we could get away with it, but I was brought face to face with the beast that lied dormant deep within me and threatened to engulf all that I was in bitterness and hatred. I had seen everything that I cared about torn down and destroyed by my own hands, the blood of loved ones staining me as well. It was in this point in my life that I saw how I so clearly deserved hell. Not only that, I saw how little I deserved any bit of happiness in life.

God brought me out of this time, but I have never forgotten it, and hope I never do. The beauty of his love is so much more clear to me now; the knowledge of what he has saved me from creates a gratitude in me that reminds me that I owe him everything, and he owes me nothing. But he is still constantly and readily blessing my life every day in so many ways. He has blessed me with my wonderful friends, my family, my life. He has blessed me in giving me a chance to have a purpose. He has blessed me in taking the monster that I was and turning him into a man of faith in him, a man of love and compassion for others, a man that he could be pleased with. Most of all, my Lord has blessed me with himself. His love, his guidance, his limitless time is all for me to claim every day of my life, and without it everything would be meaningless. My body would be nothing more than dust that is formed into these organs and this blood that courses through me and sustains my life here until death.

So I fully track with Relient K when they say "the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair." I want to always remind myself of this, for this is when I can allow myself to find true joy with what I've been given and what I've been saved from rather than focusing on what I don't have and becoming bitter or ungrateful. It isn't for God's sake that I remember this, but for my own happiness that he blesses me to remember it.

"I fought you for so long, I should have let you win. Oh how we regret those things we do. And all I was trying to do was save my own skin, oh, but so were you."

Shalom.

Post blog notes.

This post is in no way meant to diminish the validity of the pain that is in the world or that each of us can face; this post is meant to be an attack against cynicism and bitterness that can creep into life through ungratefulness for what you have or don't have. I also realize that depression and hopelessness are very real, and very hard to shake. I've been through it before, and I know that the best way to fight it is certainly not by telling yourself that you should be happier. If you are depressed, I encourage you to stop trying to not be. That statement may sound weird, but depression, many times, is a hole that forms inside of you when you fail to acknowledge hurt that is in your life and deal with it. This dealing with it, many times, is simply allowing yourself to feel it and not chastise yourself for being "weak." To be perfectly blunt, pain is a gift from God. Pain is what forms when something you care about goes wrong, gets taken away or gets destroyed, and to love and care about anything is always a blessing. In the end, pain will also always make you stronger if you are eventually willing to face it and not run away.

Praise God that he has allowed you to feel hurt for this world and the things you care about. It will also turn you into a more compassionate person that can see the hurt in others and be used to comfort them.

What are you chasing? Part 1: Worship and remembering.

"We are prone to worship things. I think it's built into our DNA." -Pastor Mark Carter

This was a quote brought to my congregation in church this morning by my pastor. This isn't the first time that I've thought about worship, but what he said did remind me of many of my meditations. This will also be the first topic in what I believe will be a three-part series of posts, titled "What are you chasing?"

Worship is a funny thing. You don't have to do much to worship something, yet it requires the commitment of your life, time and energy. As the quote says, it's wired into our DNA to worship *something* though. Many worship themselves. Many worship nature, sports, careers relationships, people, the list goes on.

It seems, however, that many of us are oblivious to what we worship. We think worship involves rites and songs or weird stuff like that, but I would propose that worship is whatever you invest the majority of yourself into. It's where you direct the majority of the energy of your life, be it in thoughts, actions and emotions. And, if you look close enough, you'll realize that the rest of your life also centralizes around what you worship.

Take someone who worships their career, for example. The relationships they form may be based off of their desire to advance up the track. Or someone who worships a relationship may schedule every day of their life around another person in an attempt to spend as much time with them as they possibly can.

So what does worship of the Lord look like? If you had asked me years ago, or even on a day when I'm not really thinking, I would answer that it's singing songs, reading my Bible, and praying. Okay, that's a start, but is it all? And do you *have* to do all of these things every day to be worshiping rightly? Worship of Yahweh goes much deeper than that. It requires your life.

As Jesus says in Matthew 22:37, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." In other words, you shall love Yahweh with all of you.

Now, this isn't something that any number of Christians haven't heard before, but I hope to present a clearer explanation of what this looks like for many. Let's face it, when someone says you have to offer your life for anything, it sounds like a lot, doesn't it? The answer to this question is both yes and no. Backtracking to the beginning of this post, I have pointed out that we all worship something. One of the things about being human is the desire to invest ourselves into something, so it really doesn't have to be and isn't hard to worship.

Worshipping Yahweh means making your own plans, but being willing to change them for him. This may sound blasphemous to many, as a lot of us have heard that we should follow his plan, but I would propose that most of us actually don't know his specific plan for our lives. Sure, he may reveal it to us, but not always. As such, the way that I trust God with my life is not by sitting around waiting for him to tell me every little footstep, it's by trusting that as I'm walking, he will point out if I'm going the wrong direction and point me in the right one. But I should stress, for this to happen you must be deeply intimate with him and yourself. There have been so many instances in my life where Papa was doing his part, but I failed to hear his voice until after I had also failed to follow.

Most of all, worshiping Yahweh means remembering him. Deuteronomy 8:11, "Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God. . ." is one of the many warnings to the Israelites in the new testament not to forget their Lord, and the term "remember" in Hebrew had heavy meaning that we don't think about today. Many times, it was used to call up a covenant between the Lord and his people, and was pleaded by prophets that the Lord would remember his people when they were in bondage and turned back to him. Many times David in his psalms asks Yahweh to remember him, to see his suffering and pleading. The Lord also remembered Rachel, allowing her to conceive because of her faithfulness and pleading with Him (Genesis 30:22). Go ahead and do a BibleGateway keyword search typing in "remember" as the keyword and see how many matches show up. Read through them, and see what you learn about God's character, promises, and also what he wants you to remember.

Lastly, at least for what I can remember and include for this blog, worshipping Yahweh means chasing him and wanting him to be involved in everything that you do and think (which actually plays into remembering him). It means that when you're having a bad day, you tell him about it. Even if you can't find the words because the pain that you're experiencing is more intense than what you know how to describe, that's when you can be still and know that he is God. In other words, just sit still and allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, trusting and knowing that God understands and knows the pain. He's feeling it with you, so you don't need to find the words. And the same goes with joy; if you're so happy that you simply can't express it, let yourself sit and let it bubble and mirth around inside of you, knowing that God understands what you are grateful and feel blessed for. Or let out a shout for joy and dance! All the while remembering that it is God who has given you such blessings. Celebrating in our Lord and truly being pleased with what he has done for us is also a wonderful way to worship him. And it means when you are feeling nothing, which I think is better termed empty, you will sit down and feel empty with your Lord every once in a while, knowing that he feels the pit that is in your heart and emotions that threatens to swallow you and all of your passions and motivation up.

Shalom.

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I apologize to everyone for the structure (or lack thereof) in this post. I'm terrible at structuring my writing, and hope that it was clear enough to follow. If you have any questions, definitely feel free to post them at the bottom though and I will answer. Also, if you have suggestions for me, as always, include those too. I hope to become better at writing posts that are easier to follow as I continue to write this.

And, as you all can see, I changed my mind about not deleting my past posts. I decided that if I truly wanted a new beginning for my blog, then I should at least do that. I'm still open for suggestions on a new name for my blog, because I am truly stumped.