Guard your heart.

"Guard your heart above all else,

for it is the source of life." Proverbs 4:23

If you've been a Christian long at all, you've probably heard this verse. Even if you aren't a Christian at all, however, you've probably heard advice like it; let's face it, whether this country was founded as a Christian one or not (which I don't believe it was), Christianity certainly has influenced our cultural heritage, and many idioms, sayings and beliefs stem from verses in the Bible. However, for as much as we all have heard this verse, I would take a gamble to say that nearly every time you heard it referenced it was taken out of context.

Before I get to that, I'll break down what we've always heard it to mean. An example would be easiest, so I'll start with that. Say you're a girl (or guy) who likes someone, and wants to date them. You go to your parents or friends, and somewhere in the conversation, they advise you not to rush into things, to "guard your heart." We have taken this verse to mean guard your heart from other people. Let's face it though, none of us want to get hurt, and there are many untrustworthy people out there! But is this what the Bible is really saying with this verse? Is God advising us to keep closed until we have learned that we can trust someone?

While this may be practical advice, this is not what the verse is saying. In fact, if I had time and had a more fully thought-through argument, I'd say that in the end it's not even practical advice; you'll get just as hurt in the end with a "guarded heart" from someone. But I won't get into that. Instead, lets take a look at the verses before and after this one. They say,

"My son, pay attention to my words;

listen closely to my sayings.

Don't lose sight of them;

keep them within your heart.

For they are life to those who find them,

and health to one's whole body.

Guard your heart above all else,

for it is the source of life.

Don't let your mouth speak dishonestly,

and don't let your lips talk deviously.

Let your eyes look forward;

fix your gaze straight ahead.

Carefully consider the path for your feet,

and all your ways will be established."

Now, nowhere in here do I even hear a slight reference to how we are to be when loving other people. In fact, in even more surrounding verses before and after these that I posted, Solomon has been and continues to talk about walking a straight path and not straying into evil. Solomon is saying to guard your heart from evil, from letting wicked thoughts and actions fill your life. He isn't saying to guard it from people.

So what? Shouldn't we still guard our hearts? I suppose, in the sense that none of us should be absolutely foolish, especially around those that have proven untrustworthy. But don't look to this verse to prove that you should "take a relationship slow" or keep disconnected from another person; I believe we are all made different, even relationally. I for one get connected to people very quickly (and, if you haven't figured out already, I'm not talking about simply romantic relationships), and while that may leave me hurting sometimes, pain isn't sinful, nor is it even something to be avoided. Pain teaches us lessons and can raise our compassion for others' pain, so I believe that those like me who get connected to others quickly shouldn't feel ashamed of it. We can hurt, and then we can be a blessing to those hurting. Nowhere in God's word does it say to be slow to care, and I look forward to showing care to even the random strangers in my life that I have just met, and especially to those who I have known for a while and do care about deeply. I'm not going to stifle that for anyone.

Shalom.