And I said I was going to move away from the serious posts. . . .

Well, I decided it was time for a new post, so here it is. Today we will be talking about, well, whatever I feel like obviously! Right now I'm listening to music, and for those who are interested, the song right now is Program Terminated by Eleventyseven. I believe this is actually the first time I'm hearing this song--yes, I'm one of those people that has music in his library that he's not listened to yet.

Anyway, as I shared on facebook (which, if you're not already my friend, then go ahead and add me. Seriously. I'm like, one of those friend whores who simply loves to see that little number go up! Kaleb Hammes, the one with the goofy face), I've found what I guess I'll call my "life verse." It's the verse of the bible that I've seen most at work in my life. It reads, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose" (NIV). A banana to whoever gets the reference!

I used to always wonder about this verse. I mean, how could someone's death work for anyone's good? How could hatred? Heartache? I think this verse is what trips many people up within the community; when trouble comes, we see something like this, and think "yeah right."

I don't say this condescendingly either; I've been right there with the rest of you, and sometimes still am. But I've seen this verse at work many, many times. Or, I should say, I've seen God at work fulfilling His promise in this verse. A little over two years ago, I had a great friend, and things went sour. Really sour, and she ended things. This is the friend I referenced in my last blog, actually, with the second PS and birthday wish.

Anyway, for nearly those full two years (maybe a year and a half), I hated her. This person I had loved so much, probably more than anyone I ever had and still have yet to, I started hating. Consequently, I also started hating myself. On top of all of this, before things even went sour, I had started believing that God hated me. This wasn't any small doubts, either, this was me being absolutely certain that hell was where I was going to go.

There's many more details to this story that I just don't have the time to type, but through all of the pain, anguish, chaos, bitterness and hatred, I started to learn many of the most important lessons I could have ever learned. About myself, about others, about life. God took the most hellish time of life that I could ever imagine and gave me so many blessings at the end that I would have never received had I not gone through it. I'm not saying God wanted all of it to happen (though I believe that it was His plan, as I have recently started to lean Calvinistically in the free will vs. predetermined debate), but He certainly didn't abandon me, and in the end, I grew much closer to Him than ever. I really wish I could tell the whole story, but as eloquent with words as I am typing, whenever I try to write this story out I feel like I just can't do it justice. I need to talk face to face with anyone, and love doing so simply to celebrate my Savior.

I even came to be able to forgive the girl. Not only that, I came to be able to see my old friendship for the blessing that it was. Sure, there's still pain, but by God's grace there is also great joy in seeing what was good there before we started acting foolishly (mostly me, lol). I came to be able to understand, or better worded accept, why she left, which is something I never thought would be possible.

Haha, this all probably sounds so sappy. I'm tempted to delete it all and just write a blog with no substance, as many people seem to like to read those fun ones (and I'm not knocking them at all! I love them too). But I'll leave this. Let it maybe encourage anyone who it can, if it can. Shalom.

Here's where I would write a message to whom this blog is about (besides God and myself, obviously), but I'm honestly just too fearful. That I'd say the wrong thing, or maybe you'd simply be offended that I would have the audacity to try to say anything to you at all. I hope not. I'll leave it at I sincerely hope that our Lord has dealt as many blessings your way as He has mine. May your life be a happy one!